Happy and Fresh 2012!

Posted on January 9, 2012 by alicia| Leave a comment

Now that the celebrations are over and the decorations are stored, it is time to stop for a minute and think about the year we want!

One of my best blogs was last years’ start-up, grow-up, and let go. You can check it here: http://www.aliciacastilloholley.com/2011/09/start-up-grow-up-let-go/

This year I want to take EXACTLY the opposite view, driven in part by my friend Marilena Beuses who sent us a wonderful note on the joys of emptiness.

I can’t stress the importance of letting go, things and emotions come as we use them, it is so overwhelming to keep adding to it, that letting go comes as a relief and a gift to that emptiness that invariably will be filled out with newies.
So… without further do, here are my wishes for 2012….

1. Start fresh, and let go…. Release what is no longer useful to you, out with the things and emotions that you no longer need. Put aside the relationships where there is no connection, it will be re-established as you and them need it. Get empty lots in your calendar, the precious time that requires NO outcome: “il dolce far niente” as Italians say. Feel the freedom that comes from not HAVING to do anything. As my friend, Salim Abi-Saab once told me, the only thing we need to do is DIE, all the rest, we do because we want to. Cut the anchor that ties you to where you no longer need to be. This is a year to be enjoyed… get the dramas out. I’m sure new will come in, so make some space for them too.

2. Grow up… what is just fighting inside of you for growth? Now that you have some freedom, what would you use it for? What makes your heart jump with excitement? After all, live is but a set of staircases, with horizontal and vertical challenges, and every now and then a loop to get back on track. A bit of struggle is fine, as long as the universal question sews a thread onto what is meaningful to you: what is the lesson? Where is the next step, what is the road to it? Pick a couple of things to grow this year… then use focused intention… and forget about ‘the secret’ Life doesn’t happen to us, we happen to life.

3. Start up… Every year, I take a course on something I’ve never done before… even if it is something I’ll never do again. Take Arabic lessons, tango classes, learn to draw, sing new songs, play new games, start a new venture (one of my favorites), write a book or a poem. We took on building puzzles over the holidays! New things are exciting, keep your brain agile and your curiosity alive. There is nothing like uncertainty to spice up your life. At the end, failure is not as bad as inaction or boredom. Pull up a rack of magazines or search the internet for something unusual, unknown or unpredictable. Don’t buy things, DO.
Let’s create the 2012 we want…

PD: for myself I already started… I’m lending for free 10,000 copies of the book Falling in love with your life on Kindle, and slashed the price on kindle to $.99. grab your copy here and share the joy. http://dld.bz/aCEka

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Posted in creativity, evolution, happiness, life

Adversity

Posted on November 13, 2011 by alicia| Leave a comment

I just got a note from an author that took a quote from an old interview I gave for the book “Life on your terms”. I had forgotten about it, but it is as valid today as it was few years ago… hope you enjoy it:

LETTING GO OF FEAR
Find the inspiration in adversity. Make a commitment to improve your situation. Even when the odds are daunting, you’re still involved in creating the life of your dreams.

Alicia Castillo Holley, CEO, Wealthing Group

From an interview for the book Life in your terms few years ago

http://www.nonstopawesomeness.me/2011/11/43-inspirational-ideas-from-life-on-your-terms/

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Posted in happiness

I love you 4

Posted on September 29, 2011 by alicia| Leave a comment

It all started with I love you… I was coming from Denmark, my grand daughter (and of course, her parents) were coming from Houston. We met in Boston, and it took us 3 hours to sort out the rental car, customs, suitcases and other challenges of traveling.

As we passed under the tunnel, my granddaughter – Harmony- and I started playing a game:

it all started with: I love you, I love you too, I love you three…

Through the eyes of a toddler I could see the wonder, the joy of being alive, of taking every single minute, tired, sweaty, frustrated… to wonder at the magic of life.

I love you hundred.

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Posted in happiness

Amanda’s got the dot over the i

Posted on April 17, 2011 by alicia| Leave a comment

When I was a little kid, very little, I had a hard time putting the dot right on top of the ‘i’. I used a small circle, moved it to the left or the right, even left the dot out of it. Unfortunately, my teacher wasn’t happy with my progress. She wanted the dot right over the i. I tried to explain to her that we really didn’t need it as everyone knows what an i looks like, and even looked at the encyclopedia and found that some languages remove the signs not only of the dot over the i, but also complete vowels! – hebrew and arabic – but to no aval, she insisted… and I became quite good at that.

My handwriting in elementary school wasn’t anything to be proud of, and it wasn’t until I got to the US as an exchange student that my writing was readable. Years on, a monkey bit my thumb, so now I have a fantastic excuse, and computers came to the rescue, or mobile phones now. In any event, we seem to have forgotten that somethings look exquisit when they have those details. Furthermore, than we are happier when we take that little extra care. Not because of others, but because of US.

I also reflect upon the dots over the i when things go flawlessly perfect. I had one of those moments yesterday… I’m involved in several initiatives regarding economic development via entrepreneurship and am looking at trends with a team scattered all around the world.

So two dots are falling on two “i” .

1. Accountability: we are part of the solution, not the problem. So, to revisit the financial crisis thinking that we need to stop complaining and start finding solutions is what will get us out. US, not me or you or he or she. US.

2. Aspiration: we need to aspire to a solution. Even if that means there is no more things to complain about. And no more chances to play hero, what would heroes do without evil or victims? watch tv or develop an app?

Then, I found one example that I want to use: Amanda. She is a stay at home artist who is making a living for herself and … instead of asking on indiegogo for donations… is selling a monthly watercolor cards for a year at $20 (a bit more if you are outside of USA). Now, that is something…

ArtCards

Her art is beautiful and she also has a store: http://naturescharms.etsy.com

She has that dot over the i completely figured out.

Way to go Amanda,

cheers, Alicia

PD: Next time things aren’t going as well, move the dot.

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You are such a blessing!

Posted on April 10, 2011 by alicia| 15 Comments

You see, without you being there, this message would go nowhere. You count, you matter. Thanks, really, thanks.

When was the last time you heard you were a blessing? When was the last time you said that? Even if you are not religious, this message has such a positive vibe!

I started this week by telling two people what a difference they are making in my upcoming book: Eric from Hedgefundwriter.com and Walton from 12on14.com. Besides their professional work on editing and formatting, they have gone beyond their contract to make suggestions, some of which I wouldn’t have thought of. It is a pleasure to work with them, but beyond that, knowing that they care, about what I do, and how it would be more useful to others, is a blessing.

When was the last time you told your partner, kid, significant other: you are a blessing? (TIP: just in case remove the ‘such’)

When was the last time you felt you were blessed? I can’t help to remember my cousin’s opening of her yoga studio

It is going into 3 yrs strong, with much passion, hard work, and gratitude. See how far they’ve come from practicing in their living room. http://www.yogabodyandbalance.com/

Today, I hope you receive my gratitude for reading this, what is the purpose of writing if there are no readings? It is for YOU that I do all this stuff.

And furthermore, I also do it so you can also share good vibes around…

Can you tell someone you are such a blessing? What do you think?  are you blessed? can you share your blessings?

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Posted in Uncategorized

The Anticipation of Happiness

Posted on March 15, 2011 by aliciacastillo| 19 Comments

Thanks for all who responded to Fishie’s story. You can continue adding it here

Here is what happens, when Fishie finds itself laying in the sand something major has to happen. For most of us the situation is out of control, and we need help, divine intervention (a giant wave that picks us up and takes us back) or a kind soul that happened to be close by and had pity on us and once again returns us to our comfort zone.

I was surprised that no one thought that fishie would grow lungs and legs and arms, which is the story of evolution. I’m sure in the process many fishies died but some prevailed and someone in our previous courses had said.

I love the story because it has many lessons: The most important for Falling in Love with Life is the Anticipation of Happiness. You see, in studies of the brain, the neurons fire up anticipating JOY or PLEASURE, that once felt will be dissolved as quickly as possible to avoid contentment.

Why is contentment bad? well, it isn’t but if we lived in caves still and sat still to enjoy our lives -what we do often nowadays in the comfort of a home- we could be eaten by a beast, could forgotten to get things done -fetch water, seek shelter- and it would not be good for our survival.

Evolution hasn’t catch up with the joys of modern lives. And we assume that the mechanism of joy and pain are similar when they are very very different. For now, just realizing that we are happiest when we anticipate happiness not when we reach our goal is critical. From a dog watching you with a leash, to a student finishing a paper, to a bride preparing the wedding, to that great vacation you are planning, a romantic dinner or a trip to the mall.

We are happiest BEFORE happiness happen.

HAP, HAP, HAP

Alicia

(next week, the mechanism of joy and thereafter the mechanism of pain).

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Posted in happiness, inspiration, neuroscience, Uncategorized

End Fishie’s story

Posted on March 2, 2011 by alicia| 16 Comments
PhotonQ-Neuronarbres

Image by PhOtOnQuAnTiQuE via Flickr

Ever since I almost lost one of my kids to depression, I take each individual connection as a sign of hope and joy… because Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be great!

I like to write notes that  both make you think and smile -which works at your conscious level – and rewire your brain towards happiness – which works at your subconscious level.

˜FULL STOP HERE˜

Take a second to read the previous paragraph again and now be aware of your neurons in your brain reconnecting: I agree, I disagree, this reminds me of…So, as you can realize, you are holding two conversations, one getting the message and one validating it or not. The same works when you are listening, oh yes, and it works when others are listening to you – ouch.

To get you a glimpse of how we work I want to share with you the story of Fishie… a cute little Fish that wandered around the sea until one day it thought about what life was…

˜Fishie Story˜

Fishie asked here and there: What is life?

  • The dolphins said that life was jumping…
  • The whales said that life was singing…
  • The seaweeds said that life was letting go…
  • The corals said that life was sticking to it…

but Fishie was never satisfied…

what is life, Fishie pondered with immense sadness

then the turtle said: “Well … umm there is another life…”

-Where, where, where, asked Fishie?

and the turtle signed towards the East.

Fishie swam as fast as it could and upon reaching the shore realized it was beyond its reach.

Still so, he decided to discover what life was about, and took a big jump until it laid on the sand.

How does the story end?…

What more? share the story and be amazed at the responses…

here is to your happiness,

Alicia

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Posted in brain, happiness, life, neuroscience

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For the hugs

Posted on February 28, 2011 by alicia| 1 Comment

I just came back from a long trip, where I presented conferences, classes, met with fellow entrepreneurs and academics, organized a new conference, hired a fabulous marketing assistant and spent time with family and friends.

I woke up this morning with a gift from a friend, and I wanted to share this with you. It is amazing that we all share a human need for happiness, let’s work to rewire our brains to it…

here goes a virtual hug, wherever you are…

isn’t life wonderful?

Alicia

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Posted in happiness, hugs, Italy, rewiring, Uncategorized

It’s not about you

Posted on February 13, 2011 by aliciacastillo| Leave a comment
Leader Traits within Trait Category

Image via Wikipedia

I gave a talk last Wednesday about my program from Brain to Gain, focusing on helping scientists create wealth from their research.

After the talk, the leader of an amazing organization came to talk to me about the importance of one of my comments. She specializes in leadership, and once commented that leadership programs for men and women are substantially similar, as we share some basic beliefs and needs.

I thought she was going to comment on a question about women having less access to capital, an issue that has been raised recently by many of my colleagues.

I never believed race or gender made any difference, so I acted upon those beliefs. As I was most likely in the minority, being both woman and hispanic, I chose not to believe that there could be a difference. It was either that or changing my gender or race, OR, accepting that, despite any possibility, I was going to make my mark.

But the real issue is feeling that the world is unfair or unjust to us for whatever reason that is beyond our control.  When we take rejection personally, we stop looking at our goals and start looking at our impossibility to do what we would LOVE to do.  Our goals disappear, not because they are hard but because we stop believing in our capacity to get things done.

So, whether the question remains access to capital, leadership or any dream we are trying to make real, we are likely to confront obstacles and doubt ourselves. I have been there many times, and every single person that I know is successful today, has also experienced it. As I used to tell my children and my clients, it is not about never-failing, it is about our capacity to fail and still hold ourselves up, acknowledge that we are not perfect, and move on, shaking the blues away.

Keeping our eyes on what it is we want to accomplish is the best solution. that way, life stops being about us, and continues being about our evolution.

The same applies to someone who fails to recognize our potential and our capacity to get things done, don’t take it personal, as it is not about YOU, it is about them and their own evolution.  You cannot control others, but your actions can have an impact in ways that your own evolution helps them. And in that case, once more, it is not about you, it is about the impact you have on others.

Because life is not about being, it is about becoming… isn’t it?

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